Why didn't your first love work out?

We were never together, but I haven't got it out of my head for years ...

The title says it all.

I haven't seen him in many, many years and we have never been a couple, but I just can't get him out of my head. Even if many years have passed through the country, even if it may have changed, even if we might not go together and have never matched. It would be enough for me if he were back in my life in any capacity, but I don't know exactly where he is and even if I did, I have no idea how to approach him.

Does anyone know? I'm no longer a teenager and now closer to 30 than 20. In the meantime, I also fell in love with other men. And even if I loved him back then, I can well imagine that I miss a fixed idea or the thought of my youth and the feeling from back then, less him as a person. And yet he can't get out of my head and is the only man I loved the way he is and with whom I could have imagined all the kitsch (wedding, family, etc.) with. When I sometimes stand in the subway and meet a guy who looks like him and whom I take for him in the first nanosecond, my heart trembles. If I like guys, it's often because they have traits that remind me of them.

I don't really want any tips, because there's not much you can advise, but I wanted to ask if there are others here who know this. Talking about lovesickness with friends is okay when I am talking about failed relationships. But when it comes to an unfulfilled, unhappy love, it is always said to get over it quickly - months would be enough to get the bird shown, not to mention years.