Are people with superpowers among us
7 people from all over the world with real mutant superpowers
You walk among us! Fly some among us! You can also take the bus below us from time to time! Homosapiens Superior is here and can do things scientists scratch their heads.
We are closely following their progress so that one day soon we can gather them together and fight crime. Or maybe to commit crimes. We haven't decided yet.
# 7. The Uberboy
Real name: unknown
Uberboy's name is kept secret, presumably to protect the life of his loved ones, as soon as Uberboy wears a mask and begins patrolling the streets of the world righting injustice.
Superpower: Bona-fide super-strength.
One day in 1999 a little boy was born in Germany, at first sight no different from any other. But the nurses noticed that the baby's muscles were twitching and called the doctors to check him out. We can only guess Uberbaby was showing off his guns to the ladies since when doctors examined the child made a unanimous conclusion: he was cunning, like hell.
But how did that happen? Was there a fully equipped fitness center in his mother's uterus? No, it turns out to be an extraordinarily stupid idea. It's actually a true X-Men-Style genetic mutation that changes the way that his body controls muscle growth. Ranchers purposely used it for years to raise large, muscular cows.
It's not clear what will happen as Uberboy grows up. All we have is this quote, that's from The Washington Post despite sounds like it comes from a Marvel origin: "But no one has ever seen a child like this young or studied animal with defective myostatin genes in old age, its health - and eventual strength - unknown."
What we do know is that at 4 years old, Uberboy could lift six times more weight than an average child. If you see a guy clubbing a bank robber in the head with a minivan in a couple of years, you know what the hell is going on.
Scientists, rather than shooting giant laser robots to chase him, decided to study him and try to find ways to use this new knowledge to help people with muscle dystrophy. And so we assume that they will turn my normal people into muscle-bound supermen, complete their army of death.
# 6. Captain sonar
Real name: Ben Underwood
Superpower: super echolocation
That's another way of saying he can "see" with sounds. Basically he is Daredevil, minus the girlfriends, the porn stars in Mexico, are always killed by ninjas and as Ben Affleck. So much, much better when you think about it.
Human echolocation is not really new. You can ask James “the blind traveler” Holman all bout it, provided you have access to a working ouija board since the guy has been dead for a century and a half. There is even an organization called World Access for the Blind that teaches people how to use echolocation. But few people have been able to echolocation as far as Ben Underwood.
Ben was diagnosed with retinal cancer at the age of two and had his eyes removed at three. While this can easily go into our next article "Top 7 Most Horrible Things God's Children Can Do", Ben's story takes a different twist at five, he learns that he can spot things around him by making brief popping noises with it his tongue.
He's gotten so good that he's now able to rollerblade, skate, basketball, foosball, and even video games.
Wait, video games? How does he do that? We don't really want to know. All we know is that when you get this kid and a bunch of bad guys in a completely dark room, only one of them is walking out.
# 5. Mister Eat Everything (aka The Human Goat)
Real name: Michel Lotito
Superpower: super food
That means the guy can eat and digest metal, glass and even toxic, toxic material without going, "Oh, shit! What I thought!" Puked in blood and died, which is what usually happens when other people try .
Michel Lotito's gastric lining is twice as thick as normal, a rare condition that most doctors agree that most doctors develop in the uterus, although no one is sure how. Was Lotito a pregnant woman bitten by a radioactive billy goat goat genes to give le fetus sweet peas? We are forced to accept until prove otherwise.
Lotito knew that fate had endowed him with special powers so he answered the call and when he was 9 years old he started eating a TV set. In the years since, Lotito got himself a career in entertainment, dining, bicycles, shopping carts and even a coffin (there was no place inside ... " or so he claims).
Lotito even entered the Guinness Book of Records when he ate a goddamn airplane. Sure, it took me two years to do it, but he ate two pounds of metal a day throughout the whole thing. The latest x-rays show that he still has pieces of metal stuck in his stomach and even a chain.
As journalists, we feel compelled to draw your attention to the fact that his specialty is not an airplane eat so it was an airplane pooped . Anyone can swallow a foreign body. The other side of the equation is where the going gets tough, and on our team of real superheroes, we think the poop plane actually makes more sense than anything The Uberboy is (hey, we have some specific goals in mind).
# 4. MONKFORCE!
Real names: Numerous Buddhist monks
Superpower: Magical heat generating energy from their bodies.
Experts have studied Buddhist monks for more than 20 years trying to figure out just how in hell they do what they do. By using a meditation technique called Tum-Mo, these monks can lower their metabolism by 64 percent. To put it into perspective, your metabolism only drops 10 to 15 percent when you sleep. And yes, should you feel bad that there are people who make you look nervous when you sleep.
But far more than awesome, the monks can also raise the temperatures of their fingers and toes by 17 degrees. Nobody knows how.
After it floats for a few seconds, the ball went up in flames
This control over their body temperature allows the monk to comfortably survive in temperatures experts call "scrotum-negated, penguin-urine cold." Not only is that in an experiment that sounds more like outright torture, a group of monks were seated in a cold room with cold, wet sheets draped around them. We're not sure if some scientist's asshole just yelled "Hey, I found nirvana in this room" and then slammed the door shut after the nosy monks went to check. But their body temperature control of meditation with the monks managed to avoid getting very sacred popsicles.
It is believed that the monks' techniques may one day be taught to astronauts to be used during space travel as they use far fewer resources during their meditation. And as soon as the astronauts arrive on another planet, they will likely find a group of Buddhist monks waiting to easily teleport their heads there.
# 3. Jet man
Real name: Yves Rossi
Superpower: flight, strapped to your back with a rocket backpack.
Yves Rossi is a Swiss professional pilot and aeronautical engineer (we hope since he designed his own jet pack) who claim, inspired by his hero Batman, realized the first flight powered jet pack.
At this point someone should write the man a nice letter explaining to him that Batman really doesn't fly at all. We'd do it ourselves, but we don't want to argue about comics with a man who jumps out of a plane carrying nothing but a flammable death trap strapped his ass. For all we care, he can say Superman talks about fish, as long as he keeps flying homemade jet packs while he says it.
As you can see, he doesn't just run along the floor and wait for his jet pack to lift him into the air. He throws himself off a fucking plane, knowing his invention works or men in dangerous goods suits will be raking him into a trash bag in minutes. If you still want to know where the mutated part of this superpowered guy comes from, than you obviously haven't considered the size of bullets it takes to do what he's doing.
Jet Man Jet Pack is able to fly at a speed of 160 km / h for up to six minutes. After those six minutes, Yves has his secondary power of go-go-gadget-oh-please-God-don't-let-it-fail-parachute since there's no way to land the jet pack without getting a red and chrome stain activate on the floor.
There's no word on his plans to add a laser-shooting suit of armor to the jet pack, but of course they didn't let that information out until it was time to use it. That time is coming soon, Mr Rossi. We will demand.
# 2. Zamora the Torture King
Real name: Tim Cridland
Superpower: Super pain tolerance
Tim Cridland is an entertainer and former member of Jim Rose Circus, who you heard from this episode of The X-Files with the murderous Siamese twin fetus thing than that really scary circus can remember.
Anyway, Tim specializes in sword swallowing, going on fire, sleeping on beds of nails (once even with a Toyota over him), body skewering and firing himself. Tim says he can do this because he masters mind over matter. Researchers on the other hand call Bullshit and say unless Tim was born with a mutation that makes it so he doesn't feel pain like that normal people do.
It is not that Tim, and his ilk, cannot feel, because they feel when they are touched, and they can feel temperature. They simply don't register pain due to faulty receptors in the nerve cells that tell your brain, "Ow-fuck-get-the-hand-off-the-stove!"
We assume that this also disables the "You just punched by a supervillain" receptors that most men shy away from making a life of superheroism.
#1. The Godhand
Correct name: Choi Yeong-Eui, later changed to Masutatsu Oyama
Superpower: super karate!
Masutatsu Oyama was born in Korea in 1927 and later moved to Japan where he studied karate. Unlike the most famous martial artists, Oyama is not famous for its movie roles, where stunt men and clever editing can make anyone look like a badass.
No, dear Oyama a different kind of theater. He used to have public screenings where he would fight and kill a bull with his bare hands. Just because it bears repeating, let's rewrite that: he could kill a bull with his hands. If you want to know how stupidly difficult it is, we invite you to go and slap a bull in the face. Go on, we'll wait here. OK, we're not really waiting since anyone who just went to try that doesn't come back.
In all, Oyama fought and killed 52 bulls, three of which were instantly killed in one blow. Forty-nine had their horns chopped off with karate blows. Nicknamed The Godhand, he was considered the living manifestation of the Japanese warrior maxim "One strike, certain death."
If you think his skills only worked against cattle, you should know that Oyama tested himself once in a kumite, a series of two-minute fights against various opponents, each of which you must win in order to continue. Oyama took over 300 men over the course of three days. According to some, the only reason it didn't reach 400 was because opponents started getting hit in the face getting tired.
Three films were made based on his life: Master of Death, Karate Bearfighterand Karate for life. That's right, there's a movie in the world based on an actual human life that's entitled Karate Bearfighterwound up. Why? Because it probably Oyama actually fought a goddamn bear once, and the bear is buried in a shallow grave covered in dirt and the tears of his relatives, as we speak.
Here's how we set up our superhero squad: super-powerful babies fly in jet packs, navigate with surgical precision through the darkest and coldest nights, tear up their tanks with super-strength karate punches and eat, only to be blown up again and shit Your own guns back on you.
Good luck sleeping, rest of the world. We hope our insane cackles don't keep you awake.
This is the third and final installment in our June superpower trilogy. If you missed the first two, check out 5 science superpowers give us in our lives before I learn about 5 superpowers from the Bible that put Marvel and DC to shame.
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