Is single good or not good

Alone, but not lonely : How singles can get through the Corona crisis well

As a single, you have to expect friends to be worried at the moment: “How are you feeling so alone?” Happy when you have friends like that is not something you can take for granted. Both old people and young people who are alone are currently increasingly looking for professional advice.

You can also discover positive aspects in the home office. Of course, the infrastructure of the normal workplace, a lot of documents and, above all, the technology are missing. Fortunately, IT also helps on the phone. Unfortunately she is not responsible for the light in the hallway. Everything that the single cannot do by himself is left lying around for the moment.

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Many people who live alone are probably completely unaccustomed to being at home. During the day they are at work, in the evening they are out and about. Usually. Contrary to what the cliché might suggest, singles are not particularly susceptible to loneliness, at least not trained singles who are voluntarily.

Even during these times you can meet for a glass of wine, just on the phone. Friends who live with others put the device on loudspeakers. Toasting and making yourself comfortable, you can do that even without personal contact.

The friends in the USA are as far away as the ones in Berlin - one phone call away

At the moment there is even more time than usual. After all, there are no events, journeys to appointments and appointments. And the distances are shrinking, which benefits those who have a widely dispersed circle of friends. The loved ones in the USA are currently no further away than the friends in Brandenburg or Berlin: exactly one phone call away.

Since it is important to look forward to something right now, I like to meet up with friends on the phone in the evening. Or I call old friends with whom I haven't had contact for a long time. Some really suffer from isolation and are very happy to receive calls and reports from the new world of work in the home office.

The involuntarily lonely ones are badly off

A friend, single himself, has recently been sending his menu and is very proud of his newly acquired cooking skills. We would never have discussed something like this before, but now it's really fun to get to know this aspect of your personality. We are currently among the privileged. We live alone, but we are not lonely.

The really bad thing is those who are involuntarily lonely and cannot do anything about it. Stephanie Wegener from Tengg knows such cases. She runs the Maltese loneliness telephone "speaking time". This is particularly popular in this crisis - not only from those affected, but also from volunteers who are willing to talk on the phone for an hour once a week with someone who has no social contact over a long period of time.

Wegener von Tengg expressly encourages everyone who needs to talk to "jump over their shadow" and actually get in touch. "Due to the current wave of willingness to help, we are able to train new interlocutors if necessary."

More and more younger people are looking for people to talk to

So far, around 20 volunteers have been deployed, each looking after up to three people. “Otherwise it will be too impersonal.” The offer is aimed primarily at older people, but more and more people in their late fifties are joining them, people without friends. You can get a permanent contact person via the telephone number 348 003 269. “This often results in a relationship that lasts for years,” says the “speaking time” manager.

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Once a week you talk to each other for an hour at a time. It's about mistakes you've made in life, about researching the causes of why a family is broken, but also about current fears. "How do you feel when you only see people with masks when shopping?" Says Stephanie Wegener from Tengg, citing a current example. Some very old people experience that they are left alone from a large circle of friends.

“Speaking time” has existed for almost six years. Right now, however, it's easier for people to make a call. To do that, one must first admit that one is lonely. "Many find that very difficult."

Loneliness can also be relaxing

Anyone who is voluntarily single will usually have a large circle of friends anyway, certainly also hobbies, will have a lot of professional contacts and have trained their whole life to approach people. What comes naturally in the family, community, has to be consciously organized in single life even in normal times. This includes trips, birthdays, holidays. Being with other people, for example at Easter, is never a matter of course. Now the meetings are organized differently.

And of course there are things that one finds pleasant in voluntary isolation, while those who are alone, without wanting to be, may not even notice them. Sitting in front of the television for several evenings in a row and zapping feels like an educational vacation that is also relaxing.

In times of stress, when the appointment calendar is at the seams, the apartment can sometimes go wild. Tattered newspapers are stored on the living room floor like a postmodern carpet, in the refrigerator the older yoghurts are crying behind those that still have a long shelf life, work and evening clothes from the last week are squeezed in the hallway cloakroom. In short, it's a little uncomfortable.

Anyone who is always at home, on the other hand, pays attention to order, makes the bed in the morning and promptly washes pots and pans that are otherwise often not used for a long time. The tidy apartment lifts the mood, as does the relaxed clothing that is now replacing the business outfit.

"Friendships from social media are often too superficial"

Young people often lack the techniques to cope with an exceptional situation at home. Christiane Obermüller heads the online emergency service U25 at Caritas, which is aimed at children and young people up to the age of 25. They are advised by e-mail from their peers. Like the older ones, this group is looking for help much more often than usual - so much that the waiting list is now full (there are more offers on u25-deutschland.de).

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Usually 70 percent of those seeking advice from U25 are girls, but now, during the coronavirus crisis, the boys have caught up massively. “Maybe it's because girls are more communicative and more likely to call than boys,” supposes Christina Obermüller.

The inquiries come from all areas, including budding doctors and social pedagogues or young teachers who still feel needed, now that the daycare centers are closed. "Some lie in bed all day and no longer see any point in getting up at all," says Christina Obermüller. They are advised to structure their day and pat themselves on the back for every step. Drank coffee. Check. Showered. Well done.

Loneliness and isolation are the central issues. "The friendships from social media are often too superficial, the classmates are missing." The advice of the U25 employees sounds simple, but for some it is still difficult to implement: You could just meet up with your best friends over the phone. "Or call grandma and grandpa."

At least that is no different than in normal times: Those who give joy get it back in many ways.

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