Smaller penises are erected faster

What was the majority of the penis?

Penises is the plural of penis. One thinks. At least if you have already philosophized about it with friends or you have ever found yourself in the then hopefully freely chosen situation (sic!) Of seeing several male sexual organs at the same time. In technical jargon, the plural of penis is namely penes. The penis, the penes. Or the penises. According to the Duden, both variants are allowed. Wikipedia kindly provides audio samples, also separated by syllables, penis, penis-se, penes. In the end, that doesn't matter, so it doesn't matter, because the fact is: I only see penises. Big, small, long, narrow, even crooked ones, in boxer shorts, made of wood, even on bread. And that's not due to spring or years of abstinence. But Dian Hanson. Because she wrote a book about it. With pictures, of course. It is called "The Big Penis Book". Big, of course. Wonder what to do with a book full of penises. Or can.

Publishers always deliver loads of books to such an editorial team. For reviewing, for getting to know authors. If neither the subject nor the title speaks to the journalist, many of the works receive less attention. They pile up carelessly on the editors' desks, are given away wildly to relatives or even end up on mountains of old books in front of the doors of the editor-in-chief.

Not so "The Big Penis Book". Bright pink (the background) and with - who would have thought - painted on the cover, it's been here in the style department for two weeks. And everyone, really everyone, has already looked at it. Clamped the enclosed 3-D glasses in their faces, grabbed the photo book the size of a burger plate - and shouted "ihh" or "uuuh" - courageously or greedily. Because with these 3-D glasses, the photographs can be experienced again, shall we say, more impressively. "Whoa, he jumps in your face", stated a colleague who dutifully leafed through the tape. You don't want to be considered prudish. "That you can show something like that in 3-D at all," wondered the next one, and "Is there someone who has a small penis?" Asked the third.

There is not any. Over 400 photographs from the past 40 years, since the sexual revolution of the 1970s made the whole nude possible, offer a clear view of larger than average phalluses. "Size matters," headlines Dian Hanson in the introduction. Photographers such as AMG founder Bob Mizer, "Colt" magazine editor Jim French or Fred Bisonnes, art director of the gay lifestyle magazine "The Advocate" provided the photos and, at the publisher's request, also provided short portraits of the models who were on the End of the tape. David Hurles, whose pictures were taken between 1969 and 2002, ponders about his model Tico: "He not only had a breathtaking body in a classically antique cut, he was also a good person." And Fred Bisonnes writes of Jeff: "He insisted not to be photographed without an erection, because there were worlds between limp and erect."

Aha. After the first female curiosity (there are amazing penis variants) has been satisfied and prepubescent jokes (yes, "satisfied", and yes, "penis, penis, penis") have been suppressed, the question quickly arises of what to do next with this book. Browsing for longer than five minutes doesn't work, and the fat grinning or insistently staring men suffocate à la "You know, right ?!" with their penises in the long shot every delicate flicker of a fantasy. These things force themselves in such a way that after the first attack of laughter, the glasses are taken off the nose and a confused woman-ego remains. In terms of content, "The Big Penis Book" offers a well-researched and interesting essay on the development of male nude photography - but who wants to "read" anything in such a book? In Jorge's case, a strange man's hand is also stuck on the limb - any woman who has ever seen gay porn knows that there can be little warmth. And at some point it's just fine with a penis.

So taking all the penes home with you is out of the question. Although girlfriends will scourge me for it. But the "ihh" and "uuuh", I already know that from the editorial office. "A big penis doesn't make a man a better man," writes Hanson. Many great penes don't make a book a better one either.