Why do my friends hurt me physically
Healing offenses means being able to forgive
Check whether what the other said / did has reached you correctly.
Did you understand correctly what the other person said? Ask him directly: "What do you mean?" "What do you mean by this?" "What specific behavior are you referring to with your criticism?" "What do you want to signal to me with your behavior? If you want, you can wait with these questions until you feel stronger and calmer again.
Talk about your feelings and desires.
Tell your counterpart how you feel and how you received his words or his behavior, and what you would like otherwise: "I felt ... because I understood that ... I would I wish that you .... say / do. "
Slip into each other's shoes.
Think about the feelings and motives behind his behavior. Has he possibly felt offended by you before? Does the keyword "A hit dog barks" match him? Is he generally a person with low self-esteem?
Is he generally aggressive and derogatory towards other people? Does he generally lack the ability to empathize with others? Is he busy with his own problems right now? Is it difficult for him to be open and say no?
Look for positive motives in your counterpart.
Wonder if there might also be positive intentions behind his behavior? Did he want to compliment you that went wrong? Was he trying to help you fix a mistake? Or could his behavior have nothing to do with you at all, but with his bad mood, excessive demands, fatigue, a current crisis situation?
Carefully separate fact and opinion.
Remember that his words only reflect his personal opinion. They don't have to have anything to do with reality at all. You have the choice whether you accept his opinion for you or tell yourself: "This is his personal point of view. I know that I am not the way he sees me".
Think about the importance you want to attach to this event.
Is the event so important to you that you want to keep thinking about it? Does preoccupation help you achieve your goals and be happy? Is it worth it to get your body upset and weaken your defenses? If not, interrupt your memories again and again with an inner "stop" and say to yourself: "I am ready to let go. This is the past" - until you no longer think about the negative event.
Write down your thoughts and feelings.
Entrust your tormenting thoughts to a diary and close your text with the sentence: "I do not like what the other said / did, I am disappointed and sad. I am angry. But I am ready to forgive him. He is a And as such makes mistakes every now and then.
Check how important the relationship is to you.
If you are dealing with someone who keeps trying to hurt you, consider whether you want to / have to continue to be with them or whether you want to withdraw from them.
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