Would you ever cheat on your spouse
Cheating Statistics: Why Women Cheat More Than Men Today
Women are more likely to be unfaithful - more often than a few years ago and also more often than men. At a certain age, women are particularly fond of cheating.
These are some of the results of a representative study by the matchmaking platform Elitepartner.
Respondents should also explain their reasons for cheating. There were noticeable differences between men and women.
Two scenarios are conceivable. Either we Germans are actually cheating more and more often - or we have the feeling that we will be more likely to admit it in 2020. Regardless of which applies: If you look at the results of the Elite Partner Study 2020, you quickly get the very impression that things are more unfaithful in Germany than they were a few years ago. The survey by the dating platform is representative for Germany; Almost 5,600 people - those who had been awarded and those who had already been taken - were asked about their behavior in terms of loyalty.
It came out that women in particular are more likely to be unfaithful in 2020 than eight years ago, when elite partners already carried out such a survey. Almost every third woman (31 percent) stated in the current study that she had already been unfaithful in a committed relationship. In 2012 it was only about one in five (19 percent). Most often women cheat in their thirties: At this stage of life, 39 percent of women have cheated on their partner before.
Women emancipate themselves - also when it comes to cheating
"In the last few decades, women have made a big difference in society and created lasting changes," says Lisa Fischbach, psychologist at Elitepartner. After decades of restraint, female self-confidence has tended to increase - also when it comes to sex. “In a single phase, women indulge themselves more sex than they used to be and, just like men, become unfaithful in partnerships.” And so it happens that women have not only caught up with men when it comes to infidelity, but even overtaken them.
But: Men also cheat more often than in 2012, at least more of them stated that in the survey. However, the number of cheaters among them has not increased as rapidly as among women. Eight years ago, 23 percent of men admitted they'd had an affair. It is now 27 percent. Today, as then, around a quarter of men have cheated on them.
"Infidelity will always be an integral part of relationships"
However, men tend to become weak more often than women, even if they do not pursue their desires. When asked "Have you ever been unfaithful in a committed relationship?" almost a fifth of the men answered: "No, but tempted." Also treacherous: cheating men seem more likely than women to act according to the motto: "If so, then yes." You cheat several times with different people more often than women. Women, on the other hand, are more likely to be unfaithful once - but more often overall.
Although we all condemn it and are ashamed of it: infidelity will always remain an integral part of love, says the psychologist Lisa Fischbach. There will always be infidelities and affairs, "even if the wishes of loyalty are firmly anchored in partnerships." But why? Why are we cheating? There are also noticeable differences in the answers given by men and women to this question.
Women are more likely to cheat on their partner for emotional reasons
The most common reason for infidelity among women was "I was unhappy in my relationship" (52 percent). This was followed first: "I received too little attention in my partnership" (33 percent) and then, quite simply: "I fell in love." The top three reasons men cheated on were these, according to the survey. First: "It was the allure of the new" (38 percent). And, together with 32 percent each in second place: "I felt sexually attracted" (32 percent) and "An opportunity arose spontaneously." Very clichéd, but apparently also true: women tend to cheat for emotional reasons. Men because they give in to physical impulses - often very briefly.
Psychologist Fischbach confirms both. "Presumably, therefore, the spontaneous flinging opportunity is one of the main motivations for men to" slip repeatedly, "more an impulse than an intention," she says. "When cheating women are more inclined to relationships in which they fall in love, feel desired and enjoy attention."
Is that possible: staying together after an affair?
Regardless of the reasons: If the partner has cheated, then it hurts: the person cheated and the relationship. So what is the best way to behave as a couple after such a breach of trust? "After infidelity, it makes little sense to want to go back to the 'old' relationship," says Lisa Fischbach, "because it always remains a partnership that has experienced infidelity." You should better consider whether you want to enter into a "new" relationship with the other and what exactly this should look like.
There are two prerequisites for this that Fischbach considers to be imperative. First, the unfaithful person must take responsibility for the affair and apologize sincerely. Second: The person who has been betrayed must be ready not to see himself or herself as a victim in the future and to forgive his or her partner. Both can work. But both also take time, says the psychologist. "Because trust has to grow - especially when it has been violated."
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