What is your responsibility to love

What you are responsible for. And not for what.

Sometimes I imagine what it will be like when one day I stand before God.

So, right across the street.

(Well, we both know very well: this will never happen.
Because I'll be sitting on his lap, kissing without restraint / rolling ecstatically on the carpet with him, and we will generally be out of our minds in passionate expressions of love, and that anticipates the tension a little, I admit it - but ACCEPTED that he would have his say. Just in case, that.)

So I jump excitedly in the air then stand in front of him, and he says laughing:
“And, Joanna?
What have you done with this life that I gave you?
Now tell ‘times!"

And do you know what I am absolutely aware of?

I will NOT be able to say:
"Yeah, well ... all well and good, but ... but my husband."
"Yeah, it wasn't that easy because my best friend ..."
"Well my boss, he was such an asshole, and there ..."
"If my parents hadn't done everything wrong in my childhood, it would have looked different, but like this ..."
"If the landlord had back then ... the teacher had me at school ... the children for whom I did everything ... the circle of friends who disappointed me ... the work colleague who bullied me ... the pastor who hurt me so ... and.. the ex-boyfriend first ... the neighbor, the lousy piece ... well, then things would have gone differently. Then my life would have looked soooo different. But I couldn't do that. "

Because then God will say:
“I understand, but what about YOU?
About your husband, I'll clarify that directly with him, it's not about him at the moment.
Now it's just about YOU. "

For me personally, this idea is one of the most beautiful and inspiring ever - it makes my eyes clear and my heart decided.
Because it implies that I have been given EXCLUSIVELY and ONE HUNDRED PERCENT responsibility for my own life.

I can't tell you at all how beautiful I think that is!
I have responsibility for my life.
I can decide what I want and what I don't want.
I can determine at any time what my everyday life should look like and how my well-being should be.
I have the reins in my hand and I determine how light, carefree, happy, focused, energetic, creative, reeling in joy, happy, carefree, limitless, drunk with bliss and beauty I want to be.

AND NO ONE is allowed to rule the opposite if I don't want to.
No circumstance, no other person, no other opinion, no other experience - not even my own (!).
Unless, of course, I allow it.

If it is not clear to you that only YOU and exclusively YOU have the say for your life, you will constantly let someone else talk into you.
Consciously and unconsciously, you will be constantly influenced - and in the end there will be a strange mix of all kinds of thoughts and feelings in your heart, which you don't even know whether they come from you or from someone else.
Like a goulash.
A bit of everything.

But i tell you:
it doesn't have to be like that.
You have a lot more authority over your life than you think.
And most of what you do is none of your business.
What is your boss, your husband, your girlfriend, your neighbor - what they have done wrong - where they are wrong - and what bad things they have done to you - that is all YOUR area of ​​responsibility.
You have to clarify that for yourself.

And you can just forgive, if you don't want to be bitter - no one can stop you.
You can decide that the past has no effect on the now - just because you want it to.
You can anytime and always (no matter how bad and hopeless everything looks, and no matter how hopeless it feels, and how much you want to die - that's not you anyway, but a few energies that tell you what a bummer) - so you can always and always decide that you ONLY want the truth and ONLY the good and ONLY the joy of life and freedom in your life.
And nothing else.
If something bad has happened to you by others, then it is YOUR responsibility to leave it behind (I already have how exactly that worksHERE written.).

“But Joanna, you just say that as if it were the easiest thing in the world. But for me it's a Rieeeesenberg, it's all very complicated! "

So if I were the devil (which I am not!) Then I would say to you
“Well, with you it's a Rieeeesenberg, it's all very complicated! It's best to do nothing at all, you can't do it anyway! "

I guarantee you:
the exact opposite is the case.
The worse something looks, the greater the likelihood that it will actually be very easy to overcome.
But if I were the devil (which I am not, we remember), I would of course romp about you for so long and so convincingly (if necessary with suitable circumstances! Of course!) That it is difficult for you so that you never yaaaaaa you realize that it only takes a single decision.

You can leave the room if someone is disrespectful to you.
Or hang up the phone.

You don't have to be treated badly at all, and you don't have to put up with a bad, oppressive atmosphere, and you don't have to surround yourself with weird people who don't do you any good - YOU DON'T HAVE ANY OF THAT AT ALL.

If something is weird, confusing, weird, you don't have to worry about it for a long time.

If someone wants to make you small or to make you feel insecure, you don't have to let yourself be made small or insecure.
(Even if it's your partner, imagine! Even then, not!)

If someone rejects you, you don't have to care - it's just none of your business.
You. are. Not. responsible.
Shitting someone else's shit IS NOT YOUR RESPONSIBILITY - even if it's your partner's shit (whom you love soooo. And therefore suffer soooo.)

If you check that, you will realize that you are only responsible for very few things - and bang! your life will be very simple and easy.

Your responsibility is:
To live the most beautiful and crassest life that you can.
It is your responsibility to enjoy yourself as much as possible.
It is your responsibility to follow your heart only, in the big and in the small things.
It is your responsibility to kick out all uninvited guests at your party (goesvery easy and even fun!) that you don't want there.

In the end, you can't blame anyone if you haven't enjoyed your life.
Who do you want to complain to if your everyday life was only so mediocre, stressful or overall “Finally a weekend?” - mediocre?
Who will be to blame if you haven't celebrated every second: you, your uniqueness, your talents, your life?

“But Joanna, you don't understand. My husband / my mother / my pastor sees things differently! I can't do what I want. "

I'll tell you:
What's with your husband, your parents, and your pastor - that's their beer.
That does not concern you.
What burns IN YOUR heart - that is important.
And just because someone else has a smaller horizon, is lethargic, is afraid, or in general “sees everything a little differently” - that doesn't mean that you need to worry or stop you.

“But Joanna, youuuu have such a beautiful life. Easy for you to say! If you only knew about my circumstances! "

How and what is with me is none of your business.
You will hardly be able to say to God: “Joanna told me, but she had a loft and just had no idea about real life.” - because he will immediately say: “I will clarify with her what happened to Joanna afterwards - but what was with YOU? "

Never use another person as an excuse for your situation (not even me if it is limiting or discouraging!).
You are immediately relinquishing responsibility - and I would never do that.
Don't do that, nobody can be that stupid!

Don't stay on the couch even though you actually want to exercise - just because your partner prefers to sit on the couch.
Don't go to a stupid movie if you don't want to see it - just because all of your friends do.
Do not have a lame job when you actually want to do something very unusual - just because your relatives once knew someone who "didn't earn any money with it."

Not now:
What do / expect my partner, my mother-in-law, my child, my pastor, my boss - what do YOU ​​want?
Think carefully: WHAT. WANT. YOU.
How should YOUR life be?
What is burning in YOUR heart?

Because for you applies:
It is your life.
YOUR freedom.
YOUR fire.
YOUR passion.
Your time.

And you can use it to do the most beautiful and greatest that you only want.
And nobody can stop you.

Love greetings

P.s .:
So if one day God should ask me (assuming that he even comes to speak for all the smooching, which I can hardly imagine, but well.):
“And, Joanna?
What have you done with this life that I gave you?
Did you party hard, every single moment? "

And before I can even scream “Yeah aaaaa!”, He'll have to laugh a lot himself and say:
"It was just a rhetorical question.
I know ;)."

And that's exactly what he'll say to you :).